Date: 22 May 2010 11:00 PM Title: No Service
The start was really promising, with Lydecker tracking Zack via monitor, all the while nursing his bad ankle after his previous fall down the steps... and then, suddenly nothing as the Pulse hit!
I have to admit though (and no offence, please) that despite the plot unfolding nicely, your using diminuitives for the Colonel got a bit out of hand and eventually took away from the story.
Still, nice work.
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing, Twinchy. It's more of a crack!fic than anything so any plot and/or narrative is highly unintentional ;)
Date: 06 May 2010 06:03 PM Title: No Service
My observations are these: This wacky piece was obviously written while you were smoking or sniffing something. Go, Kim! *pokes tongue*
Seriously, though, I had a good laugh reading this little piece of silliness. Poor, wee Donnie, the Pulse ruined his manhunt for the larger-than-life child-soldier X5-599! That's gotta sting.
At least he didn't have to hobble about in the rain, right? Oh, but wrong! *giggles* I wonder who found him outside in the rain, and how long it took...
Author's Response: I swear, I only had 2 beers!