Date: 04 Sep 2010 02:34 PM Title: Patient
“She would become Mrs. Tom Jones. And she would own part of the small one bedroom apartment. She was not going to let a cold get in the way of the big proposal she had been working her butt off to get.”
You know, it’s interesting. I find that I like this character even though she’s clearly a total gold digger and all that crap. But it’s a tough world she lives in! And she’s amusing. That’s really what I like, stuff like this:
“She had been dating Tom for over two years now. She had put up with all of his stupid little manias, she had endured the tedious talks about his oh-so-great job, she had pretended she was not bored to death with what he had the audacity to call 'great sex'. “
That’s just funny!
Too bad it looks like she’s going to die horribly.
Ah well.
You know, as I think about it, there are very few stories that actually involve Sandeman. I’m curious to see what he’s like.
I find it sad that Sandeman wouldn’t name 627 on his own. He named Joshua, after all.
“"Mind if I sit down? I'm a bit old, and this might take a while."”u92; Okay, I first read this as “a bit oDd” and I was all, no shit you’re a bit odd… oh wait.
You know it just struck me right this second that he doesn’t know that Max killed his son. Hmm. Interesting. I will read on.
“She still thought Alec was 'way cute', which angered Joe, even though he didn't understand why, since he knew it to be the truth.”
Heh.
“"Oh, please, do I have to do the whole 'Hey, Max' with the silly smile the way Logan used to? Cause it'll make my stomach turn, and seriously, more disgusting smells are the last thing we need in this dump. Of course, I could try and s...-"”
God, it makes my stomach turn too, but the mention of it makes me laugh.
“He tilted her face up and smiled at her mischievously, "But I wouldn't worry about that if I were you. I mean, do you seriously think I would be so easy to get rid of?"
She returned the gesture, "Nah, I guess you just can't stop bugging me long enough to get killed, can you?"”
They need to stop tempting fate!
“Damn, this felt nice. He'd been dying to touch her, especially this last week, having her so close all the time, living under the same roof... He wasn't sure how it had started right now, but he didn't care. And he wasn't going to let anything spoil it. Nope, not even that shrilling whistle that was drilling into his brain.”
GRR!!! We were getting to the hot stuff!
Author's Response:
*smiles* You know? I love seeing this story that I wrote through your eyes. And yes, she was fun to write. I think the great thing about her is that gray-ness, that very... DA feel, come to think of it. Or maybe that's just me.
And.. well, interrupting.. mean, huh?
Thanks for your comments.
Date: 04 Sep 2010 01:52 AM Title: Conversations
“When one set out to save the world, one had to dress appropriately.”
Ideally, like some kind of bad ass, I agree.
Awww, poor Ralph. I feel bad for her, having to pretend like Regina is totally great and all. Hopefully, she’ll get to kick her ass later.
It’s entertaining that Alec and Nicole are having a conversation about feelings, but in such like, a matter of fact, trying to figure out the mechanics of the conversation as they are having it sort of way. Amusing.
“"It is quite remarkable," she continued, "I am still puzzled about the stomach muscles. I can't find a reason for them to react along with the rest."”
That would be puzzling! One of my favorite things in stories is the observation of different viewpoints where logic is based on a set of circumstances that we didn’t share and see where that leads and this is a great example.
“Alec looked at his friend in the other room and smirked.
Hey, if he wasn't getting any, why should anyone else?”
HAH!
“Mole, after a great show of personal sacrifice, finally put the cigar out.”
I love the personal sacrifice thing, such a great, funny image.
Author's Response:
Thanks, scar. This one was a bit slow, I think. Needs needing setting up and such. And yes, that particular conversation was fun to write.
And yes, I loved the "he wasn't getting any" line. Just fit him, didn't it.
Thanks for reading,
Maia.
Date: 23 Jul 2010 07:54 PM Title: Subornation
“"Maybe I can explain." Nicole interrupted reluctantly. They all turned to her. "It was in the records. Max belonged to a special group back at Manticore. It was Lydecker's personal project. He maintained that we would work best as teams, developing the bonds that have made the best military forces. The rest of the military and scientists disagreed. They said we were not to be allowed to socialize. Their position was that since relationships depend on feelings anyway, and we were not capable of those it would be useless. In the end Lydecker was allowed to experiment with a small group and they trained as a unit, completely detached from the rest of us."”
I’ve often thought about the inconsistencies in how Max and Alec were, for lack of a better term raised. This is an interesting answer to the question.
Author's Response:
Thanks, I sure did decide to tackle a lot of different things in this one, didn't I?
Glad you think this is a good take on it :).
Date: 23 Jul 2010 07:42 PM Title: Gotcha! (Part 2)
“He was still watching her. Waiting for her reaction. She could almost see what was going through his mind. That was rather remarkable, considering how he always managed to surprise her.
But she had decided earlier that she would pay him back with the same currency. So instead of yelling at him, or scolding him, or even hitting him, she smiled and said: "Okay."”
Hah! Go Max!!
“Fine. She could deal with it. But if he thought he was the only one capable of keeping someone on their toes then he was sorely mistaken.”
I’m pretty excited about this.
And then!
“Alec shook his head. He had to be really tired. Why was Max being so nice? Was she planning something?”
She totally does get him on his toes!
Hmm… Nicole and Biggs. I’m with you now. I like how she’s all nonchalant about the sex. Very funny.
“Whatever ray of hope he might have been harboring died. He had thought Max and he had drifted apart because of the virus and her being a transgenic. But it was more than that. It was deeper. Whether or not Max loved Alec, whether she ended up with him or not, his actions had shown Logan the selfishness of his own.
She deserved better.”
She really does. Always has. God, I hate Logan!!! How is there a single person that thinks that idea, of them together, is a good one? Tis mindboggling to me.
“Max's head spun to the side with the force of the blow. Damn, he was strong. And why the hell was he hitting her face? Pissed much, Ames? Well, good. If he was, he would keep her here, keep striking her. Not that she particularly enjoyed it. But the longer he kept her here, the bigger the chances of Alec coming after her.”
Good he was hitting her face, at least.
“"Any movement, girly, and the human is toast," he snarled, "We wouldn't want that now, would we?"
"We? *I* couldn't care less."”
Me neither!!
“Biggs glanced around once more, but there wasn't much he could do. At least, not without risking Max getting hurt and Logan killed. Of course, if it came to it, he would move, even if it got the human killed. Logan was not anyone's priority.”
Amen to that!
"You bitch!" Max hissed. Biggs couldn't help the smile from reaching his lips. That she was. A complete, coldhearted bitch. But what style!
I love it.
“Max had shot someone.
To save him.”
Le sigh.
Nice, Asha!
Author's Response:
Thought I should give the girl a chance to fight back. Much as I adore Alec, he deserves it a bit. Plus, we wouldn't want him to get bored, right?
And yes, Nicole was a lot of fun to write.
:)
Date: 23 Jul 2010 06:12 PM Title: Nicole
“Okay, so he had been jealous. Fine. But that didn't necessarily mean he loved her. You could be jealous when you wanted someone. Right?
This thinking things through wasn't helping, either. Her last line of logic implied he wanted her. Badly. And that he had felt that way for some time. She groaned out loud. No, not helping at all.”
I can’t blame her for obsessing. She’s a girl, that’s what they do when guys are all unclear about shit – they fix the meaning in their head in the best possible or worst possible light.
Chicks, man.
You know, I was reading this story before, but I don’t think I ever finished reading it since I burnt out on DA before it was over. [I know! Only a year of reading it 24/7, who knew?] So I can say this – WTF with Nicole? GRR!! I don’t know! And Nicole is Infie’s name, what does this mean? Does it mean anything? You torture me!
Ugh, Logan. Ugh. He just sits there and annoys me.
“"No. I wouldn't be able to tell one X5 from the other. I know this one cause I saw him being taken to re-indoc and psy-ops more than once." Mole answered. "That boy down there has been through more than most of you guys could even imagine. So I don't know who he is, or what he did when he was at Manticore, but whoever survived that many stays down there and is still smiling has my deepest respect." Mole clamped his jaw shut.”
Aww, my poor Alec. Yay, Mole!
“Alec searched his eyes for a few seconds before he nodded. "All right, Josh. You're a big guy." He bit his lips. "Of course, now all I got to do is tell Max about this. Just what I needed." A lazy smirk slowly made its way into his face and he raised his shoulders. "Oh, well, she hasn't yelled at me since... this morning?"”
Damn, he must miss it, then. Hah!
Author's Response:
"So I can say this – WTF with Nicole? GRR!! I don’t know! And Nicole is Infie’s name, what does this mean? Does it mean anything? You torture me! " *grins* That sentence takes me back like 6 years, it's almost exactly what goblie used to tell me.
Hope you'll enjoy whatever is new to you :D
Date: 23 Jul 2010 05:27 PM Title: Positioning
“She suddenly stopped and asked. "Why the hell do we put up with men?"
"Don't be asking me, sweetheart" OC chuckled. "Cause I have nooo idea!"”
Heh.
“"And would you rather he stayed there with them? Come on, boo!"
"Yeah. You've got a point. He'd be worse than the other two put together."
OC remained silent.”
*facepalm*
“The main objective. To make her love him.
He'd thought it all through. She had no way around it. But he had to play his cards carefully.”
You know, why he doesn’t just move on to someone easy, like me, is kind of beyond me sometimes, but awwwwwwww.
“"Come on, Max! You should know better than anyone else." When she still didn't say a word he sighed. "Heat, Max. What if she goes into heat?"”
What if she jumped Joshua? There’s a nasty image for you…
“But he had deceived her. He had shut her out. He had made his choice, yes, but he'd also made the choice for her. She had a right to know everything. She had a right to know who the father of her child was. She had a right to decide if she wanted to tell him or not. Why hadn't Alec let her?”
Not bad points, I’d be pissed too.
“Max felt a knot at the pit of her stomach. His words were getting to her even when she tried to dismiss them. But she could not doubt the sincerity in his voice, in those serious hazel eyes looking at her. But she couldn't let him sway her. Okay, so he felt that way about their – her – baby, so what? That didn't change the big issue here, did it?”
Yes, Max, FUCK HIM ALREADY!
Ugh, those damn runes. Ruining the moment.
Date: 23 Jul 2010 05:00 PM Title: The Low Down
I like how Max isn’t letting it go with Alec because I’m a girl and again, I’m on her side. Torture! Torture!
“Ralph was looking down again, but suddenly looked up at him. "I think I may have told him too much." She bit her lower lip.”
Go, Biggs, figure shit out!
I kinda ship Biggs and Ralph, is that wrong? Yes. Okay, but I’m fine with that.
“She was tough.
She could also survive with that little ache in her heart. She would learn to ignore it and eventually it would go away.
She was sure of it.”
I’m half proud of her and half annoyed with her and 100% saying PFFFFT, good luck!
Date: 23 Jul 2010 04:47 PM Title: Resolution
Here I go, right back at it!
“He looked at her and nodded. "I know you could have, kid." Damn, why was he feeling like this? She was not his responsibility. Why the need to reassure her?”
Aww, he’s so cute.
“"Oh, nothing. He just... I just..." She sighed, frustrated. "I did something stupid, and he's going to be tormenting me about it all day. Just figured I might spare myself a few minutes of it."”
AHAHA! I had forgotten for a second what she was talking about since I went off to lunch and now I’m renewing my crack up about it.
“Alec looked down. How could he tell her she probably wouldn't be able to find any of them. It was a miracle she had made it alive.”
Awww…
“He watched Max's expression turn to one of panic. It was all the answer he needed. And to think just a couple of minutes ago he'd been thinking things couldn't get any worse.”
Kind of awesome. I loved how she couldn’t place him at first.
“As she was shoved to the side - gently, but shoved nonetheless - Max realized the attention of the man before her had gone elsewhere. She turned to look and was startled to see Alec walking, actually prowling would be a better description, towards them, his eyes unreadable.”
God…hot.
I love that they’re fighting, it’s all things great and masculine and lovely and I ‘m going to keep reading it now.
Oh, God, Max is being stupid again. She should have stayed to watch them beat the shit out of each other.
See, the problem? I like Biggs. And that kid is going to be massively adorable. But I want Alec to be the daddy. The kid will just have to have two, is all.
To respond specifically to your concern that you have mentioned both in your response to me and your author’s note, I totally and completely bond with you on the cringing at old stuff. There’s some of mine that I am incapable of even reading, it is just so painful. So I think you should know that that only happens on MY fic. So you can rest assured that all those things that drive you up the wall and beyond – that’s your own issue, other people don’t see it or look for it, they just want to read the story.
That said, you can see the evolution and the fact that you did it all in something other than your first language is still hugely impressive.
Anyway,
"Our child." Alec cut in again. This time he wasn't smiling. Not at all.
That’s right. Alec gets Max. They share the baby. Perfect.
“On second thought, he grabbed the main hard drive and his backup disks and headed for the door. A good hacker could retrieve his data back from the computer, even after it was deleted. But not if they didn't have said computer.”
Thank you! RIGHT?!?
Author's Response:
"I love that they’re fighting, it’s all things great and masculine and lovely and I ‘m going to keep reading it now."
*grins* Neat, huh?
"So you can rest assured that all those things that drive you up the wall and beyond – that’s your own issue, other people don’t see it or look for it, they just want to read the story.
That said, you can see the evolution and the fact that you did it all in something other than your first language is still hugely impressive." *hugs you* Thanks. Yes, I am blushing. Shut up.
And on the last line... Hee! The geek in me keeps surfacing.
Thanks again!
Date: 23 Jul 2010 04:34 PM Title: A baby
You know, I think that it cut off my review. Is there some kind of word limit? Damn, I have no idea what I said before. Except that my response to the author's note was that it was funny and that I had to go to lunch and was anticipating the Biggs and Alec and Max reunion thingie going on.
And lots of crap about awww, Alec, love, Alec kiss kiss hug hug.
Date: 23 Jul 2010 02:59 PM Title: Confrontation
“Somehow through her haze she realized it wasn't him and tried to pull away. But his lips were already on hers, kissing her expertly. And her hormones were working overtime. She stopped fighting as he threw her onto the bed.”
This is sad. I’ve often thought of this fic over the years because everyone does so much crap with X5s reacting to each others heat blah blah blah – it’s really just lucky as fuck that M/A seem to hook up so much. [No, it isn’t lucky, it’s manipulated, but it is really unlikely, right? So it seems like ONE fic should explore that – and it is yours!]
“He should have taken it directly to his buyers, especially with the delay and all. But he had to show it to Max. Let her see what she had missed.”
Awww, angsty!!
The whole scene with Biggs and Alec is just devastating. Talking about Max crying and talking about Alec and Alec’s reaction – GOD! So horrible and wonderful. I love this story.
“"I just thought it would look better on the mother of my child"”
Ah, lovely. I loved how he didn’t make her feel bad, he just made her feel better. He is such a keeper, man.
“Uhm..., so I guess hitting him on the stomach was not the answer he deserved, huh?”
I forgot about this! AHAHAHA.
“She had forgotten about Logan. Completely. He hadn't even crossed her mind. Not during her heat, not in the following days, not today when she was considering having a baby. How the hell did that happen? Sure, they weren't together, but he was the love of her life, right? And she had forgotten about him?!?”
Love! It!
"Well, it's just that I haven't seen Logan around much lately. And I haven't seen Alec with other girls for a while now. And you two seem to disappear at the same time often..." He looked at her. "I'm a journalist. I pick these things up."
HAHA! I got all caught up in the drama and then this totally made me laugh.
“"Well, you can't drink now."
"Doesn't mean you can't."
"Yeah, well, it's okay," he said, shrugging again.”
Could he be cuter?
No, Biggs, don’t come back, stay away! They’re all cute now!
…except that would mean less drama. Come back, Biggs!!
"Oh, but I insist!" he replied gallantly.
Yeah, very gentlemanly. Except the thought of her sleeping on his bed was killing him now!”
Nice! I love it.
Ralph. Interesting. I forgot Ralph was involved, I look forward to re-finding out…
Take it slow… BOO! Boo to slow!!
“A/N2: Next chapter might take a while, exams and all... Sorry. (that is, if anyone actually reads this here).[
Author's Response:
You know, reading your reviews makes me smile remembering the stories, so thanks for that. And yes, sometimes cringe too. I think (hope?) my writing improved after the first few chapters of this. But the story still stands. I remember having a bit of doubt addressing the fact of Max being with someone else during her heat. And getting pregnant. Was pretty sure people would hate it. And yet... it intrigued me. As you said, how likely is it that it would always be Alec? I know I made it a bit rushed... It was a standalone at first, so I needed to close it. I probably would have gone more slow if I'd planned it ahead.
BUT! The good side of this? I got to explore a whole lot of things with the "what'll be Alec's reaction?" problem out of the way.
Thanks for the review, hon.