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Reviewer: OneBadCat Signed [Report This]
Date: 22 Jun 2010 04:04 AM Title: Foundations

I like the way you mix in the lyrics, and change them immediately for your dialogue.

This is a lovely (almost fluffy :P ) "first steps to realisations" piece, that was a pleasure to read.

Thanks for posting.

Reviewer: Insomnia Signed [Report This]
Date: 10 Jan 2010 07:29 PM Title: Foundations

Nice, I've don't think I've heard the song, but the lyrics did seem to fit the story really well.  

"Max helped him up, avoiding looking..."

- I was a bit confused here, at the middle part, because it just switched of to another situation, maybe you could name it part 2 or more space in between might help.

Anyways, this was really great, and the ending was very sweet with Max comforting him and thinking in new ways... I like =).

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