[Report This]Date: 13 May 2008 12:10 AM Title: One-shot
Well written imagery and fitting introspection. Worthy winner of the prompt challenge. I enjoyed it a lot. A shame it's a one-shot short ;)
Author's Response: I thank you for your comment. I'm not sure I would be able to write a longer strory, even if I do have some ideas. English is simply not my first language.
Date: 28 Apr 2008 09:38 AM Title: One-shot
Ohhh I really enjoyed this. I hope you post more soon so that I can read more of your work. :)
Author's Response: Well, I'm truly glad you appreciated the story, but I don't think I will post another anytime soon. I constantly run out of time.
Date: 23 Apr 2008 09:21 PM Title: One-shot
I loved how descriptive your story was. That white isn't always good for everyone, sometimes it can be too much. It was nice to just hear her thoughts for a change with no talking. Thanks for sharing!
Author's Response: And thanks for reviewing. I'm glad you appreciated the story.
Date: 22 Mar 2008 08:52 PM Title: One-shot
Oh wow. I liked this a lot! Well done. I liked the imagery. The way you painted the picture was really fantastic. Well done!
Author's Response: I'm blushing. And I'm happy that you liked it. Have a good day.
Date: 22 Mar 2008 01:12 PM Title: One-shot
I like it! Very thoughtful and poetic. I like that white symbolizes everything that transgenics don't have, and I loved the way that tied in with Ames' last name being White. For the rest of the world it's a good, peaceful color, but transgenics are always different. And this was a very unique and eloquent way of pointing out why Logan is wrong for Max and Alec isn't. Very nice job!
Author's Response:
It's nice of you to review and not see the fault in my reasoning : the transgenics' flag. Joshua's hope is for the trangenics to fly from the darkness of the basements in the whiteness of freedom. I think such a view is idealistic. But I didn't know how to squeeze this aspect in the rest. Have a good day !
Date: 20 Mar 2008 04:06 PM Title: One-shot
This is awesome!! I'd love to see it expanded - a little more description, maybe even open it up with some dialogue.
Such a good response to the prompt.
Thanks for posting. Please write more!!
Author's Response: And thanks for reviewing. I never intended to expand it, but your ideas have merit. I may be tempted to do it, however it would become more than a response to the challenge with such an extension. I don't know if I will ever do it. Writing in english is quite difficult for me simply because it isn't my first language. Have a good day.
Date: 20 Mar 2008 03:17 PM Title: One-shot
Very somber, I like it. Especially the slow slide Max has in Alec's direction. Plus the way you set the mood for TC, dark but not lonely. Very nice.
Author's Response: Ant it is nice of you to review it. I tend to follow the writers who think that transgenics need to live in community. Humans live in society. Soldiers rely on their comrades. Cat may be independant, but some other animals aren't : it all depends. Terminal City may be a dump, but it is all transgenics have : a sort of very dirty utopia. Have a good day !
Date: 20 Mar 2008 02:16 PM Title: One-shot
That was really good. I look forward to reading more of your stuff :)
Author's Response: I'm glad that you found it interessant. If another prompt inspires me, I will try to write another piece, providing that my beta-reader don't desert me. have a good day !