Date: 27 Oct 2009 06:19 PM Title: Monster
You're really good at twists! I thought he was going to shoot her or someone else, but nope. I thought it was good how you had Max accept what White was going to do and not fight with him endlessly about it; it showed that she understood him. I also like how his final words were about his son; I always felt that White really did love Ray, no matter all the awful things he did. Sad ficlet but a good one! ^_^
[Report This]Date: 16 Nov 2007 06:50 PM Title: Monster
I don't know what it is exactly about this piece that moved me, but it did. There wasn't any obvious pain or explicit feelings but there was an underlying...something...that got ot me. Was it sacrifice? Defeat? A bit of both? I wonder what motivated the action and what drove him to confess his plan to Max, of all people. Did he feel a kinship with her? Knowing, perhaps, that she might have done the same if faced with his life and choices? I wonder.
It crept up on me! This piece subtly inspired sympathy for a character whose actions should make us hate him (even if some of us absolutely adore his evilness) and almost had me applauding him for bowing out of the game - even if it was through an act of cowardice.
I really liked this. I'm really glad you answered this challenge!
Thank you for sharing!
Author's Response: Thanks for your review! It's great to hear that you felt what I intended from it - that uncertain sympathy for a supposedly bad man.rnrnI think there might be another chapter, or at the very least a re-write; because I have a reason for his departure but I'm struggling to get it in the text - the way I want it to be.rnrnOh well, watch this space...rnBadCat