ARe you going to finish this? I mean, you're so close!

Author's Response: *headinhands* I know, right? *sigh* Seriously, I can't seem to bring myself to complete it. I know what's meant to happen - I've known for years. I've had most of it written just not strung completely together in the right order (you know, writing snippets at a time, etc.) but I never quite managed to tie up all the loose ends and put the final scene down in full. Ben scared the shit out of me. (Sometimes I wondered how I was able to write his sick, twisted mind *shudders*) But who knows, maybe I'll complete it. Y'all wanna cheerlead? I could use a sounding board. Not many DAers still reading - and goodness knows it's been forever since I've written anything substantial for the fandom... Thanks for reading and commenting. It's heartening to hear that people are still interested!

The past you've created for Ben is so dark, yet unfortunately believable.  I enjoy the level of complexity you've written into Ben's character - you've done a nice job of writing his character so that even while he's obviously insane you can't help but feel some sympathy for him. I look forward to reading the conclusion to this tale, should you choose to continue it.  Appreciatively - Heather

Author's Response:

I don't know how I missesd this, but I only just saw your comments. I'm sorry! 

I had the hardest time writing this story. It started off as a dare - a challenge by a friend to write a story that was born in one of my nightmares. And I was always worried about getting his character right and keeping Ben still somewhat vulnerable inspite of the madness and violence. It pleases me no end to hear that you think I did it justice. 

I have been struggling with the ending. I have most of it written, but for some reason my muse refuses to let Ben go through with what I have planned for him. But I AM going to end this - there is a single chapter (2nd half, really) to go and the madness will be over. I'm aiming for around New Years, so root for me!

Thank you so much for reading and commenting. It means a lot! *hugs*

Aye-yai-yai...I know it must sound wrong, but I really want Ben to have his happy ending!  He's such a tortured soul.  Awe...can't wait until your next chapter. :D

Author's Response:

Aw, honey! You're not the only one who wants him to have a happy ending! Poor Ben really has had it tough and he's grown so terribly twisted... Anyway, I'm doing my best to get back into the writing and finish the story up (next chapter should be the final installment). I apologise for the delay and hope you'll bear with me in the meantime.

Thanks for reviewing! Comments are always appreciated. 

Have a rocking weekend,
Shay 

Okay, so this had me squirming. I could just feel hor uncomfortable Max is, you really brought that across well.

And then while they were walking through the forest I just kept muttering: "Oh shit, oh shit." The fear and tension mount, you know what is coming but really wish it wouldn't.

Very well written.

WOW! Tortured!Logan. Kinda shocking.

And Ben is so clinical and calm, really weird. In a cool way. And Zack so clueless, makes you wonder what made him CO in the first place. Majorly deluded.

Uh-oh, I practically heard the ominous music on that last line.

The others are so determined to see Ben as what they want him to be and not as what he is, an extremely troubled, borderline sociopathic man.

The dream was creepy. Like I said before I think the boundaries between him and Alec are blurring in his mind, identifying so much with the other that he truky doesn't know who died in his dream. And I wonder what he was apologising for to Max, that he died or that Alec died? if that makes sense.

And I have a feeling things are not going to go well for our little Jinx.

I get the impression that for Ben teh boundaries between him and Alec, what makes them two seperate identities, is blurring. Evidenced by identifying his body as Alec's, or vice versa when looking into the mirror and inserting himself into the sex scene he witnesses to the extent that reality is forgotten.

The breakfast scene made me sad, he was there but not there at the same time where the others are concerned. Familiarity breeds contempt I suppose, but nobody should have to play a role like that, so anathema to the person themselves.

It is interesting that he knows his desire for Max is wrong in more than one way, not just because she is with his 'brother'. And yet he still acknowledges that he wants her. Disregarding what you told me earlier, I think his reasons for not going after her are going to become increasingly irrelevant, until only the reason why he should is valid in his mind.

So Ben is one step ahead of Zack, hmm? Predator mindset versus worried brother. Isn't even a contest.

Is it an accident that the first victim we meet is a lookalike for Ben's tormentor, or does it just seal the deal where Ben is concerned. Added bonus as it were.

The abuse scenes were disturbing, all the more so because you don't explicitly state what happens, although it is completely obvious.  His past sticks to him like tar.

I like that we get to meet Father Costanza as a character in his own right, makes it more immediate, because you know what is happening.

Your Ben is a bit darker than he was on the show, but considering the back story you give him not ooc. Fits.

I guess you're building to the point of where things ended in Pollo Loco. Secretly I was hoping this would be a redemption fic but from all the death and the depth of his delusions and his scarring I shouldn't have hoped. Also I should have taken your A/N as gospel instead of just skimming them like I usually do. You'd think I'd learn by now that those often reveal more about the plot than the summary.

You've done a brilliant job writing this fic though. It was so cold at times you could literally feel the air still, like you were breathing your last breath along with his victims. And his conscience that has him barely hanging onto sanity at times, the little glimpses you see of a young man that was once innocent and loving in now void hazel eyes. Hazel is such a warm and alluring eye color yet you write his behaviour and expressions so well that I can see in my head the way his eyes would look. It's strange what you can be blind to when you love someone. Zack and Max don't see it. Alec doesn't see it because he's preoccupied with Max but I think he suspects something in Ben, although he's not sure what. So will the end be posted soon? ;)

Poor Logan. Well that's the end of Eyes Only at least. Unless he can somehow synthesize the rest of his hacks using previous recordings and something akin to the program Sebastian uses. If only Zack doesn't wait till after work. He's in the area. He could have just dropped in as he usually does unannounced and that would have put Ben in a really awkward situation. I think he could kill Zack if it meant protecting his dark secret...

I have a very bad feeling about where this is going. So far none of them, with the exception of possibly Logan, have suspected Ben. And his siblings are the only ones who could stop him, if he gets to Logan before they do I doubt there'll be any redeeming him in Max's eyes when it's all out.